he still hasn't called that asshole... i wonder if i made him feel awkward... but if he just an asshole i hate him.. i hate him... he made me appreciate mariah carey's new cd... her lyrics hit me after i met him... especially shake it off and stay the night...

i feel so foolish so stupid... i never thought i'd be like one of those girls who get tricked... i feel cheap... always thought i could think and had nothin to worry about... never knew... he though made me feel things that no guy has yet made me feel... i actually think about him all the time.. everyday.. and when i do something.. i wonder what he is doing... and what he is thinking... does he even think of me? and even wheni am out... i am wondering what is he doing? is he going to come? and even still i dreamt of him last night and i remembered it.. he called me to see what i was doing... and i was so happy i my dream to know that he called and even though i gave out the impression i don't want to talk to him , i still did... cause i was soooo happy... this is what he has done to me... and isn't it funny? we barely even talked... hung out only a couple mere times...so i'm so iffy if i even meant anything to him... fucking asshole...!!!

anyways i chatted w/ philip on msn today... it was kewl... he seems like a nice guy... i remeber when i used to like him.. we went boating around english bay... but i never said anything... never talked barely cause i was so shy then... he asked why i don't talk to tanya anymore... i said it was cause of a conflict in shedules... he works for an advertising company... hmmm.. makes me want to continue w. my schooling too.. i like meeting ppl who better me... and of course i better them... then we better eachother... and lean on one another when the going gets tough...